Full Review

It was the eve of the coronavirus quarantine and we were hankering for a good Hawaiian. Knowing full well that it may just be the last Hawaiian we’d ever have, Abby once again put our fate in the hands of the locals. And boy, was that a mistake. This so-called “best Hawaiian pizza near me” faced a multitude of problems. The first being the crust. Somehow it was super crispy, but also hard and stodgy. The stodginess probably resulted from the heavy drizzle of what we assumed to be canola oil, which is a bit uncommon for pizza. Given the lack of finesse and thought that went into this pizza, the “chef” most likely dunked our pizza into a vat of oil before realizing what they were cooking. On a similar note, there was a piece of pasta on our pizza. Penne, to be exact. This just confirms that the chefs back there have no idea what they’re cooking / doing. As for the toppings – we typically appreciate generosity, but not in terms of ham (especially Abby). There was no discipline when it came to putting on the ham. We counted an upwards of 5 ham slices per stack, which surpasses both our ham consumption thresholds, sending us SPINNING. This was the second documented time this has happened. There was also tons of cheese and an oregano-saturated sauce. Because of this, the pizza tasted more like lasagna. The cheese even crisped up like a lasagna. The only good thing about this pizza was that there was a decent amount of pineapple. It was sweet, but its flavor got lost in the surfeit of ham, cheese, and oregano. To top it all off and bring this pizza even further down the rankings, it was finished with a drizzle of Frank’s Red Hot, further accentuating its garbage qualities.